Strange news items thread

[L]

...what advertising person thought THIS was a good idea for a billboard?

[cat-chaz]

HOLY SH*T!

i don't think even jon stewart or stephen colbert or the best satirist in the world could have come up with something so bizarrely/hilariously inappropriate!

[bergenergy]

Annoyed with a sheriff's helicopter flying over her house late Thursday night, Marjorie Thompson ran outside with a bottle rocket launcher and started shooting rockets at the aircraft, authorities said.

Authorities said they caught Thompson, 44, in the act of launching the second bottle rocket.


and,


The next time Dan McBride rents a car, he may want to inspect it not just for dings and dents but also for snakes.

The assistant athletic director at Eastern Kentucky University found a two-foot-long ball python in his rental car this week as he left the Ohio Valley Conference baseball tournament in Paducah.

McBride got into his car Wednesday night with a colleague and saw the snake draped across the console.

McBride said he thought it was a rubber snake someone put there as a joke. He even gave the snake a pat and put the car into drive.

As he drove toward the exit, the snake lifted its head. McBride hit the brakes, then started to get out of the car. But the snake was on the gear shift, forcing McBride to keep his foot on the brake.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[L]

[bergenergy]

NEW YORK - Diamonds are no longer a girl's best friend, according to a new U.S. study that found three of four women would prefer a new plasma TV to a diamond necklace.

Sign of progress?
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

A woman who became stuck to a toilet seat in a shopping mall restroom was treated at a local hospital after paramedics used fingernail polish remover to free her, officials said.

The 53-year-old Council Bluffs woman suffered burns to her skin in the incident, which happened Wednesday, officials with the Fire Department said.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[thegetaway]

Hahahaha.
_________________
-Sabrina
we get bored

[bergenergy]

A Chinese woman has appeared in court accused of transporting panties and long johns soaked in heroin, state media said Friday.

Wang Zhiqin, 42, from Wuhan, capital of China's central province of Hubei, was charged with transporting 1.44 kg (3.2lb) of heroin soaked into 15 items of underwear, the China Daily said.

"Drug tests apparently detected heroin on them and Wang was arrested after a tip-off," the China Daily said.


Were those edible panties?
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

Dickies Jeans Redesign Seems to Curtail the Unsightly Phenomenon Known As 'Plumber's Crack'
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

A woman is suing the J.C. Penney Co. after an alleged run-in with a store mannequin that she says left her with a cracked tooth, a bloodied head and recurring shoulder pain.

Diana Newton, 51, of Westminster sued the Texas-based retailer last month in Orange County Superior Court, claiming she was cracked in the head by a legless female dummy at its Westminster Mall store
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

LAS VEGAS Aug 18, 2006 (AP)— City officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces, but the city attorney says the new law was passed by mistake and won't be enforced.

The new ordinance makes it illegal to "knowingly establish" sleeping quarters near defecation unless that "deposit" is made in an appropriate sanitary facility. It was passed unanimously by the Las Vegas City Council as part of a bill making it a misdemeanor to go to the bathroom in public.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[Uncle Woody]

This is all very well and good but I can't get past the idea of King Tut's mummified penis.
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Peace, Love and High Fiber,
Uncle Woody

P.S. Yes, I KNOW I look like Uncle Sam's bastard child!!!!

[bergenergy]

[Uncle Woody]

[bergenergy]

WATERTOWN, N.Y. Aug 21, 2006 (AP)—

The First Baptist Church dismissed Mary Lambert on Aug. 9 with a letter explaining that the church had adopted an interpretation that prohibits women from teaching men. She had taught there for 54 years.

The letter quoted the first epistle to Timothy: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[Kars213]

[bergenergy]

PARIS Aug 22, 2006 (AP)— Vacationers visiting France's beaches are getting some unusual promotional goodies such as condoms stamped with the logo of the ruling conservative political party.

With presidential elections coming up in the spring, French politicians are testing new waters in a country that usually emphasizes rhetoric speeches and pamphlets over image-building buzz.

Members of the conservative Union for a Popular Movement have been touring beaches and vacation spots across France with truckloads of party merchandise to shore up support for Nicolas Sarkozy, interior minister and party leader.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

Following inquiries by ABC News, the Pentagon has dropped plans to force a severely wounded U.S. soldier to repay his enlistment bonus after injuries had forced him out of the service.

Army Spc. Tyson Johnson III of Mobile, Ala., who lost a kidney in a mortar attack last year in Iraq, was still recovering at Walter Reed Army Medical Center when he received notice from the Pentagon's own collection agency that he owed more than $2,700 because he could not fulfill his full 36-month tour of duty.

Johnson said the Pentagon listed the bonus on his credit report as an unpaid government loan, making it impossible for him to rent an apartment or obtain credit cards.

"Oh man, I felt betrayed," Johnson said. "I felt, like, oh, my heart dropped."
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

CHARLESTON, S.C. - About one of five female cadets at The Citadel last spring reported that she had been sexually assaulted since enrolling at the formerly all-male military college, according to a survey released by the school Wednesday.



Nice to see the armed forces actively defending the virtue of American womanhood!
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.

Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.

When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

He later told officials he'd lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

Police Chief Pat Miller learned first hand that the law has teeth: Oxnard police dog Beemer thought he was taking a bite out of crime when he chomped down on the chief's leg.

Beemer, a Belgian Malinois shepherd, bit Miller on the left hamstring this week before the dog's handler pulled Beemer away.

"It hurt. The dog literally picked me off the ground. He ripped my pants and bloodied my leg up pretty good," Miller said Wednesday in recounting the police chase that started in Ventura and ended in Oxnard.

Uh, yeah.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

BRATTLEBORO, Vermont, Aug. 24, 2006 -- Some have appeared naked in a downtown parking lot. Others rode their bicycles or simply strolled the streets in the nude.

Teenagers in the quaint Vermont town of Brattleboro are raising eyebrows this summer with brazen displays of nudity.

So far they haven't been arrested or ticketed: public nudity isn't illegal in the town of 13,000 people, unless it's done to arouse sexual gratification.

Vermont has a live-and-let-live tradition, allowing skinny-dipping and nude sunbathing. Brattleboro, the first permanent English settlement in the state in 1724, is home to a community of writers, artists and musicians as well as transplanted entrepreneurs from Boston and New York.

When the weather grew hot this year, a couple of dozen teens took to holding hula hoop contests, riding bikes and parading past the shops wearing only their birthday suits.

Nobody, including the police, seemed to take offense until one local, Theresa Toney, went before the town government in August to complain about a group of youngsters naked in a parking lot.

"The parking lot is not a strip club," she said. "What about children seeing this?"

Town officials asked their attorney to draft an ordinance to ban such displays for the Select Board to vote on in September. When the teens heard about it, some staged a nude sit-in.

"I don't see why it's such a big deal," said Alec McPherson, a recent high school graduate as he sat at a coffee shop table, browsing a thick volume of artwork from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. "Everyone's naked in this book."

His companion, Jeremiah Compton, a high school junior who plays in a local metal-and-punk band, agreed. "It's just that we're bored and expressing our right," he said.

"We have a nuclear power plant a few miles away and a ridiculous war in the Middle East, countries getting bombed," said Ian Bigelow, a 23-year-old who had gathered with some of his friends outside a bookstore. "So why's it such a big problem if we chose to get nude?"
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

More than 500 students in Lancaster, Texas, had their summer vacations extended after failing to complete their summer reading assignment — only they weren't exactly on vacation: The school suspended them until they completed their assigned reading.

The "get tough" policy is Lancaster Independent School District's latest effort to improve reading scores and overall performance in a suburban school that is described by many as "struggling and underachieving."

"Our kids cannot afford to have summer or winter breaks off," says Larry Lewis, school district superintendent. "Sixty to 75 percent of our students are reading two to five years below their grade level."
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

GOLDEN, Colo. Aug 25, 2006 (AP)— Beer executive Pete Coors pleaded guilty Friday to driving while impaired, a lesser charge than the DUI count filed against him after his May arrest, and was sentenced to 24 hours of community service.

The judge suspended a $200 fine, but ordered Coors to participate on a panel sponsored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving and to go through alcohol education courses. Coors' driver's license also was suspended for three months from the date of his arrest.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers

[bergenergy]

HAMMOND, Ind. Aug 27, 2006 (AP)— Classrooms were a little less crowded at Morton High School on the first day of classes: 128 students were sent home for wearing the wrong clothes.

Fed up with inappropriate outfits, the principal suspended the students for one day Wednesday, minutes after doors opened at the school. Those suspended represent more than 10 percent of the 1,200 total students.

The offending attire including baggy pants, low-cut shirts, tank tops and graphic T-shirts are banned from classrooms. Students were also cited for cell phone use.

"This was the worst year I've seen in a long time," said Principal Theresa Mayerik. "It's gotten out of control, and we needed to send a message that we're not messing around."

The Hammond school usually has 20 dress code violations a day.
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Under cherry flowers none are strangers