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catie Top Poster


Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 1686 Location: whispertown
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:00 am
Post subject: We'll Never Sleep (An After-Midnight Thread) |
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And how long will we last
Before we go insane?
Let's answer that question.
This is a thread for all those random, bizarre, fascinating, hilarious, boring, thoughtful, pointless, sophisticated, aimless, ambitious, illogical, and earth-shattering thoughts that we all have in the wee hours of the morning.
Discuss. Comment. Argue. Observe. Interpret. Or don't.
The only rule: You can only post after midnight (your local time), and only until the sun comes up.
GO! _________________ get into the car and you aim it at the sun, boy |
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Gav Gangsta Mack


Joined: 20 May 2003 Posts: 2524 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:26 am
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hey, good topic idea!
And I'll totally use my moderator powers to enforce it, so don't anybody even think of posting during the day!
well, I kinda asked out a pretty girl today, and she kinda said yes! and I'm a shy dork who basically never asks girls out, much less gets a yes. so I'm flyin pretty high right now, and probably won't fall asleep too easily tonight. I was totally expecting a 'no,' so I'm kinda freaking out right now!
maybe this would be a better fit in the "why are you happy?" thread, but it's after 1am, so what the heck, i'll say it here.  _________________ Rilo Kiley Place - nice |
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I'm Your Huckleberry Guest
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:08 am
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| atta boy gav |
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Reed O
Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 63 Location: Estevan, Sask, Canada
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:10 am
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| Way to go Gav, I totally know how you feel, I get so nevous talking to girls that I like. |
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catie Top Poster


Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 1686 Location: whispertown
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:15 am
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| Gav wrote: |
hey, good topic idea!
And I'll totally use my moderator powers to enforce it, so don't anybody even think of posting during the day!
well, I kinda asked out a pretty girl today, and she kinda said yes! and I'm a shy dork who basically never asks girls out, much less gets a yes. so I'm flyin pretty high right now, and probably won't fall asleep too easily tonight. I was totally expecting a 'no,' so I'm kinda freaking out right now!
maybe this would be a better fit in the "why are you happy?" thread, but it's after 1am, so what the heck, i'll say it here.  |
Aw, yay for you! That's awesome - I'm totally shy around boys and I don't think I could ask one out... so good for you!
Anyway. Uh... Oh, damn, I still have homework to do. Gahhhh. _________________ get into the car and you aim it at the sun, boy |
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IHeartJenny Don't Fuck With


Joined: 03 Mar 2005 Posts: 4931 Location: four. one. five.
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:09 am
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I've been taking a lot of long walks (like, 60min+) lately, and many of these walks involve lots of hills, as I live in San Francisco. I like this muchly, but then, I end up in great amounts of pain in the evening. Hmm...
I think what I enjoy about the walking is that I get to spend more time with my iPod, who has been my best friend lately. Her name (as of right now) is Anabelle.
I've also been making a lot of mixes. I just finished this one like, literally five minutes ago, and I don't know if I'm totally happy with it yet. I have to give it a full listen-through before I know for sure.
It's called, "The Best Kind of Love Is A Love That's Really Quiet"
My Favorite Chords - The Weakerthans
Thirteen - Big Star
Say Yes - Elliott Smith
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
Come Crash - A.C. Newman
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You - Colin Hay
Your Nervous Heart - Rhett Miller
Fine Again - Liz Phair
Rise - Azure Ray
Dress Up In You - Belle & Sebastian
Heart - Stars
Here Comes The Sun Again - M. Ward
First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes
Red Right Ankle - The Decemberists
I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders
This Modern Love - Bloc Party
It's Only Time - The Magnetic Fields
Legendary - Lou Barlow
Speak Easy - Maria Taylor
No Need To Cry - Neko Case
You Send Me - Sam Cooke
I love Sam Cooke. I grew up on him, and he's pretty much the only hub for happy memories with my father. I'm going to play that song at my wedding. Also, I think I might cover "Wonderful World" at some point...I'll probably totally bastardize it, but hey, my intentions are all totally noble, what are you gonna do? |
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catie Top Poster


Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 1686 Location: whispertown
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:19 am
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| IHeartJenny wrote: |
I think what I enjoy about the walking is that I get to spend more time with my iPod, who has been my best friend lately. Her name (as of right now) is Anabelle. |
My iPod's name is Penelope. Penny for short. She's a good girl.
Heather, I like that mix a lot - I haven't made a mix CD in ages and I really miss it... I've been out of blank CDs for weeks now! I did make a "twee as fuck" mix for my friend, mr. "I like distorted guitar". He promised to make me an "underground rap" mix in return, but... it still hasn't come.
Starting school at like noon every day (it's state testing for the underclassmen, ha!) has totally messed up my sleeping schedule!
Tonight I went to see "Why We Fight" with some friends - it was sooo interesting. Has anyone else seen it? _________________ get into the car and you aim it at the sun, boy |
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zephyr_ all-around quality person

Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 201 Location: Melbourne. Australia
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 9:50 am
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I think i'm going to like this thread a lot. It is 12:24 here. I'm a night person i do all my best thinking at night so this is going to be awesome!
Anyway The Elected are going to be on rage tonight at 5 to 2 so i'm excited (this only really matters for australians) Last week Jenny this week Elected!
Do these posts actually have to have a point? because if so you have come to the wrong guy. How long will we last before we go insane? Not very long in my case I think i may be already there, insanity doesn't look to bad from this side even so insanity, normality is there really a difference? maybe we are all at different levels of insane.
I made a mix for a friend i think it made her happy like really happy i don't know i always thought she was the type of person who was just generally happy with what goes on in her life. It just seemed like it was the first good thing that had happened to her in a long time and it was only a mix (she got a bit teary). I felt a sad after that to relise that theres stuff going on with her that i didn't notice or maybe care to notice.
It was a quality mix though it had like yeah yeah yeah's, the elected, my morning jacket, ben kweller, clap your hands say yeah! ted leo and heaps more i was proud of it. I've never named a mix before though.
I'm about to start writing a short story for school its about a young man in an old one room apartment with some music and he may or may not have a drug problem i havn't decided yet its leaning more towards yes because it will increase the sense of drama or something, these things tend to write themselves anyway sooo yeah i'm sure i've bored you all far to much. so i'm off. _________________ Are you crazy!?
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! |
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zerofxdude
Joined: 04 Feb 2006 Posts: 6
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:57 am
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its exactly 2am over here in jersey. my name is rod, and i think this is only my 4th post on this board.
i cant believe that in about 16 hours i'll be in NYC heading to see jenny. about 8 of us are getting together at this bar called revival for preshow drinks, and im assuming postshow drinks as well. look for us, we'll be the loud ones.
-rod |
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IHeartJenny Don't Fuck With


Joined: 03 Mar 2005 Posts: 4931 Location: four. one. five.
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 4:30 am
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So, it's 12:22am, and I've just watched Walk the Line and I've decided that I need to be a country singer. Because I love it. So I'm listening to Gillian Welch...and wondering where the FUCK my mother put Soul Journey cause that's her best album, imo, but apparently it's fallen into the black hole under our recliner. Psssh...
Annnyway, today my friend informed me that she doesn't believe in real love. EVEN THOUGH her parents have been married for almost 40 years and have never had any serious problems. (Sidenote: this is the same girl who told me just last week that she is saving herself until she is married. If she doesn't believe in love, she's going to Hell no matter what, cause her intentions going into the marriage are "let's have sex!" not "I love you and want to grow old and die with you." So what's the point?)
I'm going to FORCE her to watch Walk the Line, because it's easier than me trying to give her a history lesson myself, and John and June were proof that the whole soulmates thing is for real. He knew from the moment he met her that he'd marry her, and he DID eventually (after many many years of consistantly trying) and THEN they were together until the very end. He only waited 4 months after she died to follow her. That, to me, is the most romantic fucking thing in the world and the most obvious example that love exists. Puts my faith back in humanity.
Alllso, I've just gotten back into reading Survivor (Palahniuk, foo) and I figure I can probably finish it this weekend, as I have NO homework (yay!)...when I'm done, I'm going to read the Bible, I think. Yes.
I love religion, I really do...when it's not being crammed down my throat as fact, it's amazingly fascinating.
Ummmmmm...that took 8 minutes to write. Where's my head tonight? |
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The Shoe. all-around quality person

Joined: 18 Jun 2005 Posts: 291 Location: texas
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 4:54 am
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| zephyr_ wrote: |
I made a mix for a friend i think it made her happy like really happy i don't know i always thought she was the type of person who was just generally happy with what goes on in her life. It just seemed like it was the first good thing that had happened to her in a long time and it was only a mix (she got a bit teary). I felt a sad after that to realize that there's stuff going on with her that i didn't notice or maybe care to notice. |
I love when something little that I do seems to really make someone else happy.
I made a mix for one of my friends a few weeks ago. Her mom had just gotten over breast cancer, and then her grandmother passed away, and finally, her aunt had gotten sick. She was really depressed and out of it all of the time, so I made her a mix starting with some really depressing songs (Johnny Cash's version of 'Hurt'; Jimmy Eat World's version of 'Firestarter') and then got progressively happier and sillier. I don't know how effective the happiness of the songs on the CD were, but she seemed genuinely touched that I'd thought of her.
I'm also making a mix for a good friend of mine. He's making me a dirty rap CD and I'm making him a "classy music" CD. It's a very ominous task; making a CD with a theme like that.
Don't you hate when you're about to click on a link and the a pop up pops up right in your way so you click on it instead? It's one of those little things that irritates the crap out of me.
It's 2:43am here, and I know exactly why I'm awake. It's taken me months and months to admit, but I think I have a quite massive crush on a gay guy, who is also one of my closest friends. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I liked him (or the extent of it) until he "came out". I'm also extremely hurt because he never technically told me when he came out. We've been extremely close friends for a long time now, and I'm wondering what it means that he never told me that he realized he was gay. I heard about it in a rumor nearly 6 weeks ago, and then I heard him tell someone else about 3 weeks ago. So really, I have no clue how long he's been gay, and I'm wondering what exactly things meant at times that I thought he was flirting. People used to constantly ask if anything was going on between the two of us, and now it's painfully obvious that nothing is. But what about back 4 and 5 months ago? Was he already gay then? Or did he like me, as everyone else had convinced me? Now, he talks to me about guys being hot, and how some senior has a crush on him. His gayness has seemed to just recently fully come out. All of this has amounted to me being confused, hurt and in more than like, but less than love. He's away for spring break, which means I haven't seen or really talked to him in a while, and my mind is wandering and confused. I'm just a little messed up over this all. And, I feel like I have no one to talk to about this, because I spent months and months convincing people that I didn't like him and there was nothing between the two of us, so no one expected this reaction out of me at all.
Sorry to invade this thread with lame teenage drama. =/ |
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maxticket Baby Stabber


Joined: 15 Apr 2004 Posts: 5702
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:04 am
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It's one in the morining and I'm not tired.
There's a good change I have to work a fucking 12.5 work day tomorrow (8 hours of it is a class so at least it's not physically inhumane).
I need to go to bed. Why do I do this to myself? _________________ the music that I want
is cheaper than therapy |
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frylock Cool Kid


Joined: 29 Aug 2004 Posts: 661 Location: San Fu$$ing-cisco
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:09 am
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im now officially a loner at my school.**Bitching Rant Warning* i think that the people in my grade (juniors) really do suck. i wish i was with these current seniors because they are much more fun because they are actually themselves . but noo i got stuck with the suckyass mexican guy that acts wayy more bitchy than all of the hoochies combined and thinks straight edge is soo fucken cool because doing drugs and drinking makes u a dumbass. while he listens to his sucky ass atreyu and talks about his white heart bleeding and shit like that. Who also surrounds himself with sophmore asians that i believe have no sense of independence. They all are like his fucken lapdogs and they act like immature kids. Honestly one of the guys walked around for like 20mins with a book of jimmy hendrix next to his head just because that picture of jimmy had the same haircut as him. i honestly believed that was an insult to mr hendrix. Their jokes are soo lame too, i mean come on fart jokes and stupid simple minded insult jokes. but anyways i just had to rant that.
I honestly need to get away from milpitas though, it is really just argg. dam u heather... living up in the sfos.
ok anyways. im going to the belle and sebastian concert! yup and i found my ride too. Wierd thing is, im going to be a 5'4 asian guys surrounded by three tall 5'9 white girls. _________________ "were gonna have a bake sale later. if you guys wanna come. jimmy t lovves pot brownies. one of my friend has back problems he has thc pills you can get there called maraknol i havent had one but were gonna be putting them in the brownies."- Blake |
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IHeartJenny Don't Fuck With


Joined: 03 Mar 2005 Posts: 4931 Location: four. one. five.
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:19 am
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| frylock wrote: |
I honestly need to get away from milpitas though, it is really just argg. dam u heather... living up in the sfos.
ok anyways. im going to the belle and sebastian concert! yup and i found my ride too. Wierd thing is, im going to be a 5'4 asian guys surrounded by three tall 5'9 white girls. |
You know what would make you feel better? If you stole a ticket from one of these white girls you're going with and then gave it to me. I'd totally hang out with you the whole time, so how can you lose here? Honestly? I really think that this is an excellent plan that you should serioulsy consider. Yup. Suuurrre do...
Hum dee humm hummm la la la la doo dee daah dee doo doo dee daah... |
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waking in winter Posting Machine


Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 2075 Location: california
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:23 am
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| The Shoe. wrote: |
| So really, I have no clue how long he's been gay, |
Just to interject: probably forever. It's not like a light switch, ya know? _________________ See, I got gone when I got wise
But I can't with certainty say we survived |
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dragonfly Cool Kid


Joined: 04 Nov 2004 Posts: 604
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:47 am
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| The Shoe. wrote: |
| zephyr_ wrote: |
I made a mix for a friend i think it made her happy like really happy i don't know i always thought she was the type of person who was just generally happy with what goes on in her life. It just seemed like it was the first good thing that had happened to her in a long time and it was only a mix (she got a bit teary). I felt a sad after that to realize that there's stuff going on with her that i didn't notice or maybe care to notice. |
I love when something little that I do seems to really make someone else happy.
I made a mix for one of my friends a few weeks ago. Her mom had just gotten over breast cancer, and then her grandmother passed away, and finally, her aunt had gotten sick. She was really depressed and out of it all of the time, so I made her a mix starting with some really depressing songs (Johnny Cash's version of 'Hurt'; Jimmy Eat World's version of 'Firestarter') and then got progressively happier and sillier. I don't know how effective the happiness of the songs on the CD were, but she seemed genuinely touched that I'd thought of her.
I'm also making a mix for a good friend of mine. He's making me a dirty rap CD and I'm making him a "classy music" CD. It's a very ominous task; making a CD with a theme like that.
Don't you hate when you're about to click on a link and the a pop up pops up right in your way so you click on it instead? It's one of those little things that irritates the crap out of me.
It's 2:43am here, and I know exactly why I'm awake. It's taken me months and months to admit, but I think I have a quite massive crush on a gay guy, who is also one of my closest friends. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I liked him (or the extent of it) until he "came out". I'm also extremely hurt because he never technically told me when he came out. We've been extremely close friends for a long time now, and I'm wondering what it means that he never told me that he realized he was gay. I heard about it in a rumor nearly 6 weeks ago, and then I heard him tell someone else about 3 weeks ago. So really, I have no clue how long he's been gay, and I'm wondering what exactly things meant at times that I thought he was flirting. People used to constantly ask if anything was going on between the two of us, and now it's painfully obvious that nothing is. But what about back 4 and 5 months ago? Was he already gay then? Or did he like me, as everyone else had convinced me? Now, he talks to me about guys being hot, and how some senior has a crush on him. His gayness has seemed to just recently fully come out. All of this has amounted to me being confused, hurt and in more than like, but less than love. He's away for spring break, which means I haven't seen or really talked to him in a while, and my mind is wandering and confused. I'm just a little messed up over this all. And, I feel like I have no one to talk to about this, because I spent months and months convincing people that I didn't like him and there was nothing between the two of us, so no one expected this reaction out of me at all.
Sorry to invade this thread with lame teenage drama. =/ |
That's really sweet how you made those mixtapes. I made a special tape of a radio show for my sister, but found out she doesn't have a cassette player.
I can see how that problem with your friend keeps you up at night ("up at night, up at night..." to quote "85"). I don't know, I seem to always be interested in unattainable people; talented, mysterious types. But at the same time, as soon as I find out someone is actually and officially "taken", I end up losing interest very quickly, although I might feel a little hurt and jealous at first. Sometimes it takes a little of the pain away to feel like there's nothing I could do anyway, so I can release myself from the bittersweet "burden" of pining and hoping. It sounds like your feelings are pretty strong right now though. I hope things even out for you. My sister's best friend, who she's known since junior high, came out around his senior year. He had dated some girls and even admitted to having a big crush on my sister at one time, but nothing ever came of it. He's very charismatic, but my sister says the secret to their long friendship is that she has never been in love with him (unlike everyone else).
Anyway...I'm kind of babbling here...not really up to typing anything very interesting right now, just up for a few more minutes, then it's time to hit the hay. My goal is to make it to bed before three a.m for once this week. I'm sure I'll be reading this thread often in the wee hours.
Is it true that they say "night hawk" in Canada, instead of "night owl"?
Goodnight hawks and owls, and hamsters, and other nocturnal creatures. |
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Gav Gangsta Mack


Joined: 20 May 2003 Posts: 2524 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:11 am
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let's see who can set the record for latest post. i can't believe it's 4:11am right now! i've got to get to bed.
beat that!  _________________ Rilo Kiley Place - nice |
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Gav Gangsta Mack


Joined: 20 May 2003 Posts: 2524 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:13 am
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oh, and thanks guys, for the kudos earlier in this thread. oooh, i just bested my own record! 8)  _________________ Rilo Kiley Place - nice |
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zephyr_ all-around quality person

Joined: 27 Jan 2005 Posts: 201 Location: Melbourne. Australia
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:40 am
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Ahhh Sigur Ros are something else i don't know if they make me happy or sad really its like a different emotion but its good they make me feel something. I see them in less than a months time i'm so excited they are playing in this really old theater in st kilda in melbourne which is right on the beach basically its so beautiful. Beth Orton is playing there soon aswell i might see her hopefully.
well its twenty past one here i just finished a bottle of jim beam it hasn't had an effect sadly haha i drink to much lately, its my birthday on tuesday i'll drink all i want and bourbon is my drink so yeah damnit drink up! yeah not big on birthdays truthfully they arn't really my thing.
Do you have people cry about you much?? because this week alone i've had two people crying about me one was worried the other one missed me its scary it like opens your eyes that people seem to care about you. Even though they seem to think i'm vague and distant with everyone and i don't open up anymore i don't get it things are harder these days for some reason. They are right sadly.
it took me twenty minutes to write those last two paragraphs and its not even like i'm looking at anything else except for pictures of pandas i love love love pandas! Panda panda panda! night all. holy shit i've been listening to the same sigur ros album for 5 hours! time flys when you try to sing something you don't understand. _________________ Are you crazy!?
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! |
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cat-chaz Guest
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:25 pm
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okay, i'll admit up front that it's daylight in Ft. Worth, BUT before Gav zaps me i'll say it qualifies as after midnight for me because i haven't been to sleep. Which would be OK except i'm at work and have to be here until about 8 PM. luckily i mainly sit around while people get married, but i am supposed to be coherent. (and the night before was the Elected show so i was all pumped up and got no good sleep then either. and tomorrow is Rainer Maria and Scout Niblett, i may never sleep.)
I stayed up all night because they imploded a 30 story building in the center of downtown Ft. Worth this morning, so i stayed in a hotel downtown. I was drinking at bar next door at 1am, and then got out again and walked around about 5 am as they were preparing for it. The building went down at 7:30 and i can say with all honesty it was the weirdest thing i have ever seen. I was on the 15th floor of a building about a block away and was just awe-struck. A ginat fireball shot out of the bottom and then it all just dropped and a giant brown cloud engulfed everything, including our hotel. Then i went down to street and it was just surreal, everything was covered in dust and smoke, and it smelled wild. Then it poured down rain so all the dust went away quick and you could see into the rubble pile.
Wild, but also kind of disturbing, given the 9-11 memories. At one point when the dust cloud was shooting out we saw four or five hotel workers at a closer hotel running on their roof to get away from the cloud, that was very creepy.
if i figure out how to upload stuff i'll put my video up, there's some from local news here under "most popular video:
http://cbs11tv.com/ |
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cat-chaz Guest
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 2:29 am
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OK now i can join in on the official after-midnight madness. still no sleep, worked all day (or was at work anyway), finally got to actually come home and my cat is being very needy and there's world baseball on running late. The elected two nights ago, the crazy exploding/falling building trick after the next night, beisbol tonite, crazy cats everywhere...i am hideously overstimulated. must sleep or won't make through 3 bands tomorrow.
everybody have a wonderful late night 8) |
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catie Top Poster


Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 1686 Location: whispertown
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:29 am
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Yay 12:17 AM! I can post now!!
I just wanted to say that I LOVE this thread. I know I started it, but I'm just unbelieveably thrilled that it's worked so well! I love reading everyone's stories.
Today I had the State Championship Speech Meet, which was very interesting, as usual... I ended up doing pretty well - not as well as I'd've liked, but well nonetheless! It's totally dorky, and I'm kind of "over" the whole speech thing because I've been doing it for three years and every year I just see more of the ridiculous bureaucratic crap and the stupid judges and blah blah.
Aaaanyway. In less dorky news... Yeah, there really isn't any. Uh... I'm talking on IM with this boy right now who I think is sooo cute. We're talking about music, because that's what we do. *sigh* _________________ get into the car and you aim it at the sun, boy |
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ohvelveteen Cool Kid


Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 748 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:41 am
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I've completely wasted my whole day. And I didn't get to sleep until two last night, and it's two thirty now, and this whole past week has just been a haze of lack-of-sleep. I was literally dizzy today, I was so tired; I didn't realize that was possible. And now it's at the point where everything just doesn't seem quite real. For some reason, I just really really don't want to go to sleep tonight. Even though I should, even though I know I have to wake up early on Monday morning, too. I just downloaded and watched Prozac Nation. It was good, I think, I don't know. It was good. I'm nothing like her, though, and I can't tell if I really understand or not. I guess it's impossible for me to, isn't it? I'm lucky, I know. I'm one of the few kids who made it through seventh and eighth grades without cutting; without succumbing to that fucking trend; I've never seen a therapist, and I'm happy, as much as I'm allowed to be at sixteen, at least. So it's just always interesting to hear points of view like that, you know? Because I can't get them from myself. Sorry if I'm ranting and not making sense. Like I said before, I'm tired.
My mother has no expectations of me whatsoever, and I don't know if that's better or worse than having high expectations. It's not that she has bad expectations, she just doesn't really have them. It's like, I mention how I want to visit Macalaster, and she's like 'Oh, that's probably the hardest non-Ivy school to get into ever. But if you really want to, go for it.' It's just weird, not having anything to live up to, or to really aspire to, I guess. Besides the things I hope for myself. But I guess those are supposed to be more important anyway, aren't they?
Don't you all just hate it when you're up late at night and all there is to think about is your mind? You've exhausted what's in your mind, so now there's just the mind itself to think about. Is that the id? I learned about that really quickly once. I should know more psychology shit. But anyway, yeah, it's weird. My boyfriend had a battle of the bands tonight I couldn't go to. But he called me afterward - he had won, and had the band over to celebrate, and they had all just left, and he was kind of drunk - and it was sweet, but he just kept talking about all this stuff I couldn't even understand. I mean, I could understand what he was talking about, and I totally got it and everything, but I couldn't relate at all. He's worried about his future. He's worried about if he's going to be happy or not. He worries about all this really huge stuff, you know, all the really important stuff that you're supposed to worry about in high school right before you go off to college and decide how the rest of your life is supposed to be. I feel like there's something wrong with me that I don't worry about that stuff. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it, you know? I have that problem in school papers and shit, the 'big picture' thing. I can't tie arguments together in a history paper. I get into these really intense arguments with my English teacher because he says my pieces never really have a 'heart of the matter' (a favorite English teacher term at my school). I say a piece does not necessarily need a heart, but really, I'm just not good at putting it in there. I don't know, I'm ranting, and I probably shouldn't post this. Typing is just so much easier than writing this out in my journal though, you know? My hand gets cramped quickly and I just feel so rushed. Whenever I write in my journal it seems so forced, like I'm just writing in there because it's my journal and I should, but I don't think that's how it's supposed to be, really.
To end on a random good note - I bought sock yarn today. It's striped. Lavendar and purple. I've knit about five inches of the cuff. They're ribbed thigh-highs. This is the first pair of socks I've ever knit, and I hope I actually finish them. I can't remember the last time I've finished a project. I have at least two sweaters and four scarves around my room that have been finished for months and I just haven't sewn all the ends in. _________________ I was lying in a burned out basement
With the full moon in my eyes
I was hoping for replacement
When the sun burst through the sky
I bet you can guess where this link goes. |
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ohvelveteen Cool Kid


Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 748 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:41 am
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That was SO LONG. I only just realized that. I think I was spacing out half the time I wrote that so feel free to just skip over it and read to the other more sensible shorter better posts, please. _________________ I was lying in a burned out basement
With the full moon in my eyes
I was hoping for replacement
When the sun burst through the sky
I bet you can guess where this link goes. |
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catie Top Poster


Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 1686 Location: whispertown
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 4:17 am
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| ohvelveteen wrote: |
| That was SO LONG. I only just realized that. I think I was spacing out half the time I wrote that so feel free to just skip over it and read to the other more sensible shorter better posts, please. |
Hey, I read the whole thing. Kind of.
Anyway. I know what you mean about the Prozac Nation thing - I haven't read/seen it, but I felt kind of the same way after reading The Bell Jar. Like in some weird way you totally relate to the heroine even though she deals with it in an entirely different way. I'm not suicidal and never have been, but in some way I just totally related to Esther and everything she was feeling. It's bizarre.
I don't mean to be weird/creepy but I remember hearing once about some learning disability that makes you unable to see "the big picture." I don't really know. Anyway.
Sometimes I'll worry about big stuff like that, but just as often I worry about stupid trivial crap. I just tend to keep a lot of my worrying (most of it) inside because I'm pretty private... I hate it when people complain about stuff that seems stupid so I try not to do that - although I really understand that it's important. I can't watch Sex & The City because it annoys me how they spend all their time sitting around talking about men and their lack of boyfriends and blah blah blah - I guess I just would much rather talk about something more intelligent or more interesting... but of course this whole philosophy seems like crap when I have boy problems and can't talk to anyone about them. So I just write in my journal. I guess what I'm trying to say (lamely) is that I really hate it when people complain about stupid stuff, but at the same time I know it's totally necessary and sometimes really rewarding.
That totally didn't have a point. Sorry.  _________________ get into the car and you aim it at the sun, boy |
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