Why are you sad today? (our very own emo thread)

**F#minor** · Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:32 pm Post subject:

Everything in my life is going so well and yet I can't seem to smile.
I just want to stop everything in my life.
_________________
“Does a man ever tire of looking at the sunrise…when he's balls deep in Kevin?”

- Rodney Ruxin

bergenergy · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:47 pm Post subject:

neverending · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:29 pm Post subject:

stood up twice this week. awesome.
_________________
"oh no! jabba is going to choose jenny lewis for his wife. R2D2 will destroy him!"

-Emily Heart

**Heather** · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:50 pm Post subject:

v-rinny · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:52 pm Post subject:

neverending · Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:07 pm Post subject:

two different guys!

oh and did i mention one of them was for a Ball? yeah, a BALL. at one of the swankiest hotels in downtown toronto. tickets were redic. priced. took me over 2 hours to get ready. UGH.
_________________
"oh no! jabba is going to choose jenny lewis for his wife. R2D2 will destroy him!"

-Emily Heart

bergenergy · Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:15 pm Post subject:

**Heather** · Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:40 pm Post subject:

neverending · Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 1:33 am Post subject:

yep, that was me right before. It wasnt really a date..he was in town for buisness and I haven't seen him for about a year. Whenever I go back up north, hes away for buisness. So he said he'd make it up to me and take me to one of the events. I picked the ball./gala/dance/dinner thing. Sad

_________________
"oh no! jabba is going to choose jenny lewis for his wife. R2D2 will destroy him!"

-Emily Heart

hustler · Joined: 15 May 2010 Posts: 32 Location: Davis, CA

A week ago today I was to take my last final of the semester, an individual oral exam with the prof (and an assistant grad student) for a class that had seemed super easy during lecture. Accordingly, I kind of blew it off during the semester in favor of my other tiresomely difficult classes. Getting to studying come finals and seeing what would be expected knowledge proved me so wrong.

It went so poorly that the professor stopped the exam 2 questions in. He told me I would have to retake the test next month, but after I explained that I had to have my grade for my home university by next week he reluctantly arranged a written test for me next week, today. They didn't believe that within a week I could achieve the level of knowledge necessary to pass, but I set out to prove them wrong. I'm not gonna just pass, I'm gonna get 100% or damn near. A week is long enough to study for one class, right?

A week later of spending nearly all my waking hours in front of the computer poring over slides and lab reports, I don't feel much more prepared at all. In truth, I didn't study properly at all or with as much concentration as I should have. And so I do just as poorly. Maybe I'm burned out from a single term on the semester-system and my poor low-standards quarter-system brain that relies on the curve (no curve here Exclamation

) to save half-efforts from failure just couldn't handle it. This class was worth the most units out of everything I took this semester, too, boo. Even worse is I can't retake it at my home university since there isn't an equivalent course. Mad

So my GPA takes a massive blow and I have an irrevocable F on my transcript. Still waiting on another grade to be reported that hopefully is also not an F. Exclamation

Even though my transcript now has a black mark, putting me firmly out of reach of honors, and even with the disappointment of underachieving and even with the possibility of having to delay graduation and continue burning money in the UC system, what I'm most bummed about right now is that I'm bummed. Today was my day to kick back and finally relax. But I don't deserve it anymore. Laughing

Boo.
_________________
a hustler's son/daughter

**happyfish** · Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:26 pm Post subject:

Tonight is the last time I get to see my best friend before she moves to Australia for 3 years. my other friends and I were looking through old pictures yesterday to make a video for her. Holy crap, it made me realize I've had pretty much the same group of best friends for 8 years now. We have had so many lovely, fun and hilarious experiences together. I can't believe it's the end of an era. this is going to be rough.
_________________
happiness is not a fish that you can catch.

ZooeyLewis · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 1:05 am Post subject:

I drive around aimlessly for hours because I can't function normally. Driving around and blaring music is the only thing that sets my mind at ease and goddamn gas is expensive.

neverending · Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:43 am Post subject:

my mom bought a one-way ticket to Germany.
_________________
"oh no! jabba is going to choose jenny lewis for his wife. R2D2 will destroy him!"

-Emily Heart

**Heather** · Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:21 am Post subject:

What's going on, Emily?

neverending · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 12:31 am Post subject:

no idea. she needs time to get away or something and she doesnt know if she'll be gone for 3 weeks or a few months. Sad

_________________
"oh no! jabba is going to choose jenny lewis for his wife. R2D2 will destroy him!"

-Emily Heart

**Heather** · Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:49 am Post subject:

Hmm. I'm not good at knowing what to say, so I will just offer virtual hugs. Sad Hug

**happyfish** · Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:44 pm Post subject:

I just need a wah-baby-titty-mouse moment. Nothing is really wrong. In fact, life has been generally quite good recently.
Today is just a bit of an off day. I've been dealing with unpleasant people at work, I'm bored, my stomach hurts, I really really really want to quit my job and live off savings until I find an awesome way to make a living that doesn't suck up my energy and make me feel like my soul is dying. Curse you, corporate world.
_________________
happiness is not a fish that you can catch.

neverending · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 8:46 pm Post subject:

i'm stuck in a rut. work sucks (they keep firing people) and its just a giant ball of stress. i just feel so unmotivated. I've been looking for jobs all over the province, applied to a few, but the opportunities are very limited. everyones just so bummed at work too. its really getting to me. i want to do nothing, ever. i was supposed to go out to dinner yesterday with a girlfriend of mine, but i bailed on her. all i've been doing this week is sitting around playing words with friends.

im going to see my parents and godson tomorrow for the long weekend. hopeully that will cheer me up :-/
_________________
"oh no! jabba is going to choose jenny lewis for his wife. R2D2 will destroy him!"

-Emily Heart

bergenergy · Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 4:55 pm Post subject:

Carrie and Emily, I feel bad for your job frustrations.

I am basically accepting that my wife is disabled to the point where I don't think she will ever work again. Maybe if there was some totally unique job it could happen.

Now, just have to figure out how to get my mother to subsidize us. After my sister died, she is much more open to helping out.
_________________
Under cherry flowers none are strangers

**happyfish** · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:50 am Post subject:

Emily, we need to just start a company together or something.

I've started looking at other jobs to apply for and found one that looks perfect for me. There are two hitches though. First, it's in another state so I'd have to move. Second, it would require working in an office again and with all the things that drive me crazy about my current job, I LOVE working from home.
Anyways, I'm applying for it, but they want references. I haven't really kept in touch with people from my previous jobs, so I'm scrambling on who to use. I sent an email to my supervisor from the internship I did in college, but that was almost 5 years ago. I hope she even remembers me. This also means I'll have to tell my current supervisor I'm applying, in case they contact her.
_________________
happiness is not a fish that you can catch.

thegirlinthesong · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:41 pm Post subject:

I've been writing a journal entry for every day since December 21st, 2011 (I'm recording the "last year on earth") and today's took a sort of unexpectedly dark turn...I don't feel particularly healthy today, if that makes any sense.
_________________
Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.

... Toast

.

**happyfish** · Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:53 am Post subject:

My stomach hurts, it's gray outside, I want to quit my job....oh and I miss the days when the forum was more active.
_________________
happiness is not a fish that you can catch.

bergenergy · Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:47 pm Post subject:

Sometimes my wife's pain issues get overwhelming. She can be overly dramatic, but recently wrote:

I shouldn't have had kids, I did.
I shouldn't be married, I am
I should be dead, I'm not

She deals with it all so well most of the time and I get used to not worrying too much thinking that everything will be OK. I do absolutely everything I can to help and always have her back when other's think she is somewhat making it up.

But seeing her suffer day after day, month after month, year after year is pretty f-ing hard. Especially with the knowledge that my frustration and sorrow are nothing compared to her having to actually experience it all.

She takes every kind of pain med short of narcotics. She is not 'spiritual' at all and can not get any solace that way.

Getting back to her statement, she feels that her body was not meant to last, but that her committments condemn her to keep going. Very hard, when you know that the chronic pain is not going to go away.

Everyone always wants to know what her problems are. It's a long list of so many things short of a horrible disease like cancer. Outwardly, you would never guess she had so many problems just by looking at her.

For the last 10 years or so she has given me the green light to go out and travel, go to shows, etc., as much as I want. So I am not really tied down. But today it hit me hard what a savage struggle she has with her body that I often ignore to keep my own well being.
_________________
Under cherry flowers none are strangers

Built To Post · Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject:

Wow, Dan. Sorry to hear that things have been so painful and difficult for your wife. It's nothing I've ever had to deal with in my life, so I don't really have any solid advice to offer. I just hope she gets the help she needs to feel better. Stay strong for her. I wish you all nothing but the best.
_________________
"When God gave us mirrors....he had no idea...."
My Morning Jacket - Librarian.